It was Summertime - his last B-day! An announced life's ending was already been predicted by his medical doctors. Even wearing a collar to sustain his neck, even with pain, he was full of life. He tried very bravely to dig into life - everyday as the last one! For 2 long/short years. He knew from the start when, with 3 years he said: do you know mum, my “dodoi” is green! "it will come and it will go, but it is green!" Asking him why green he answered as he was the most wise man in the world - "oh mum, you know, it’s because green is the color of hope! “
Every moment was a grandiose operetta. One of his favorite musics was the four seasons of Vivaldi. He asked for winter when he was sad he could vibrate as soon as summer would play on its sequence.
He was a demanding kid on his 5 years of life.
Play was his breathe! Reflections could emerge from a glance upon an activity like the one he loved to do with me - questions that I should repeat for him to answer! His control could sometimes upset the maid or the brother but never for more than minutes as his smile could melt down whatever he had brought up! His last play with words was: "mum, do you know what is love? No, I said, no I don't!!!!!” He replied: “ mum, love is something that makes you happy, and before you ask me, happiness is to smile!!!!!!” (and he was only 5!)
Today is his B-Day! He would be 31!
Life has changed. Time has gone by. So many new events I’ve got in my memory. But this one will never modify! There are no new events to modify it! And this memory has not fade away. It was a moment in time that values a lifetime.
He was a wise boy!
He once said to his closest friend (12 days before he died) "Carol, do you know, when you come back to my house (they were moving to another state) I will not be here anymore. Do you know why? Because I will be an angel! I will look after you!”
He once said, to his auntie Elaine, on a bath time of his cousin Priscila - “ let me help you to soap her because I want to wash her axila / underarm!”
He once had to decide how he wanted his B-day cake - the last one - His Godparents ( Ico and Neka) brought some cake magazines’ for him to choose. We sat down to look them through out. - once we got to a cake of a clock, we looked into each others eyes and we knew it should be that one. I did not realize it consciously by the time, only months ahead…. but he knew the time was his best present!!
He could be picky, sometimes' with his brother; Cris used to take him to his bedroom and talked and talked with him - over and over again, after all he was nearly 7 y older. If he did not want to give in, he just came out with some special smile and a look for a hug and something to be said that could break down any quarrel - I love you! As he use to be from the start!
Mateus, a spaceship you copied from Clarisse’s model: the way you said you would go to heaven - fast, pretty fast!! Is this the way we get there????
I will meet you there, one day, if I deserve to be there. There will be no more tears, there will be a vast meadow of daffodils just the same way as once I used to see covering the meadows of the Queen’s college in Oxford when my imagination fluctuated upon them while I was carrying you in my womb….
"Where is Echo, beheld of no man,
Only heard on river and mere,--
She whose beauty was more than human?
But where are the snows of yester-year?"
-Dante Gabriel Rossetti
(1828-1882])
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